Silent Suffering

She opens her eyes wide trying to un-see that vivid image.

She fights back against the sickening and aggressive thought that has made its way to her mind.

Gone. Four letters.

She crumbles. A mass of mixed emotions.

Confusion. Anger. Sadness. Loneliness. Desperation. Hopelessness. Shock. Doubt. Disbelief.

There are far too many words to describe how she feels, but not one in particular that will explain this.

An emotion so deep, so powerful it threatens to shatter her–an explosion from within.

How? Why? Why? WHY?

“I don’t believe you!” “It can’t be true!” “You’re a liar!” “This isn’t real!”

In fact, it is not real. But it feels like it.

And with every inch of her being she feels a pain so bitter, she’s convinced it’s real.

Time is of the essence. All of a sudden she realizes just how much he means to her.

Gone. Four letters.

She thanks God that it was only a dream but recognizes that THIS is her worst nightmare.

Gone. Four letters.

Four letters.

Nevertheless, as she takes a shaky breath and wishes away that feeling, she realizes that all it takes is the substitution of three letters–

L to G.
I to O.
F to N.
E remains E.

–three letters, and everything that matters to her in this life can be snatched away from her just as quickly as it was given to her.

She stares into the blackness that is her bedroom–two o’clock on a Monday morning–and realizes just how fragile life really is.


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